return my video game
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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