She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You need Xanax blowdarts
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
