I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
