He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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