He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
