My nipple is on Facebook.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
