we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
