The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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