Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
