Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
