We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
