And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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