just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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