Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
