i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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