um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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