So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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