his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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