I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
