she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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