Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
