2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
