My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
