So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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