you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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