everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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