I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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