the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
