I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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