i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
