Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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