i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
