On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
