nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
