Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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