There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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