it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
