It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
