i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
there is another microwave in the elevator.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
