Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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