Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
