I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
