Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
