There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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