C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
