everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
