I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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