Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
