READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
