dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
