the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Farmville is her only friend.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
